It’s easy to shy away from change. It’s easier than embracing the fear, the challenges, the questions. It’s easier to close your eyes and step back from the edge. It’s easier to stay put, to stay quiet, to stay wrapped in comfort then to let go of your pre-conceived notions, beliefs and current life and jump into the wind and waves of the unknown. It’s easier to stay in a job you don’t like then to forge a new path. I know this. This is the choice I’ve been making everyday for practically three years.
See, I knew that corporate America wasn’t a good fit for me at the very beginning – before I had even left college. I knew that even when I accepted the HR position that came with a good salary and good benefits. But I ignored that voice in my head saying this isn’t a good fit, and accepted it. I had to. With tons of student loans, bills to pay and a diploma in my hand it was the best choice for me at the time. I don’t regret it. In fact, I don’t regret at all.
Yet that was over 3 years ago and I’m still here. Walking the cold marble hallways, nodding my head in meetings and feeling invaluable, unengaged and unhappy. I’ve told myself that it is necessary :: this way of life :: to pay the bills, to stay afloat, to live in today’s society. Now I know the truth.
So, late at night, when I dreaded going to work the next day, I’d whisper to myself, “A year. Just one more year.” And then the year would come and go and I’d still stay trapped in my cube and lost. So I’d start the promise, the whisper of change once more – “Just one more year, just hold on for one more year.”
Well, I think I’m done waiting. I think I’m ready to start embracing change, new challenges, a new life. Yes, that means leaving behind a great job and a great company that many many people would kill for; but not me, not anymore. I can’t keep choosing stability over happiness. I can’t keep telling myself one year…
It’s funny that I’m thinking and feeling this way now since this month is not only the month of my half birthday (yup, I’m 27 and a half as of 8/19) but it’s also my blog’s 2 year anniversary. On August 19, 2010 I dedicated myself to reconstructing my life. That was my first post on Creative Soul in Motion and even then I knew that I wanted more. I wanted more out of myself and out of life.
I’m not yet sure how my life will change, or where my path (Dharma) will lead me but I’m ready to change. To take the giant, scary leap into the unknown and to ride the waves and the wind of change. I’m not scared, in fact I’m excited. My months of mindful living has taught me that we are always changing – that is truly inevitable – and as long as I follow the Truth within me I’ll continue to find happiness and love.
So thank YOU, all of you, for your love, support and encouragement over the last two years. Creative Soul in Motion has changed, just as I have, and I can ensure you the next two years will be just as delightful.
Namaste.
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