Lately I’ve been writing a lot about staying positive (even if you just keep repeating “think positive” over and over) especially when you’re faced with a challenging, scary or frustrating situation. The main reason is because there is a lot riding on this egg donation as I’m trying to help someone start a family and it means a lot tome. Now, to be honest, that comes with a lot of expectation, hopes, wishes, and worry.
It’s easy to get sucked into the cycle of worrying – what if this goes wrong, what if it doesn’t turn out like I expected, what if, what if, what if?! But one thing I’ve learned is that by focusing on the negative you don’t see the positive.
Rather than being stuck in a mindset of worrying I’ve found it’s better to be flexible with my feelings, my worries, concerns and thoughts.
Rather than letting every worry or fear hold me down I try to take a moment to acknowledge them and then let go of the fear and concern and move on. Stronger, braver.
But sometimes it’s hard. And I know that now better than ever. Wanting your body to do something that you have absolutely no control over is beyond frustrating – you feel incapable and useless when you can’t make your body react the way you want. Situations like this are the times that the ability to remain positive is truly tested. Yes, wishing for a job, hoping a presentation went well, believing that your mortgage application will go through – they’re all big things that really matter in life but going through this egg donation makes me realize that medical situation stuff, that’s heavy stuff that can easily weigh down the heart and burden the spirit.
When a loved one is sick, or you’ve lost someone, or you’re dealing with your own medical condition it’s so freaking hard to stay positive. In fact you don’t want to! It feels wrong to be optimistic when really you want to yell and scream and hit something. BUT being frustrated does not help, in fact it hurts. Staying positive, even when it’s really difficult, might not change the outcome but it will help.
Staying positive will help your body remain in a healthy and stable condition rather than stressing out and going into fight or flight mode. It’ll also help keep your blood pressure down and your anxiety level down while letting you breathe easier and be more optimistic. On top of that it will help you be more balanced and your mindset will be focused on success, on getting better, on the best possible outcome.
I’m not saying you should plaster a smile on your face and ignore your sadness or anger but I am saying that it’s better for you – for your body, mind, soul and emotional state – to acknowledge those feelings and then choose hope.
That’s what staying positive is :: The act of choosing hope over fear.
So, cry if you need to. Scream if you need to. I know I have. But then take a deep breath, let it out with a big sigh and visualize what you hope will happen.
The last 2 days I have spent every spare moment visualizing a happy outcome for my egg donation. I picture the whole process in detail including my feelings. I focus on the smiling baby at the end, the happy momma, the universe smiling back at me.
I am not freaking out or worrying (which would be easy) I am trusting my body, trusting in the harmony of the universe and choosing hope.
Will you choose hope with me?