For the last few months I have been beating myself up every morning. After waking up I would berate myself :: Erin, today you are going to be engaged and productive, you are going to get shit done and focus.
Then throughout the day I wouldn’t get as much done as I wanted to and I’d feel horrible about it. Guilty. Ashamed. Frustrated. So then the next day it would start all over again. Clearly this method was not working. What I couldn’t see what that I was forcing myself to “be productive” and forcing myself to cross item after item off of my to do list. I wasn’t connected with my authentic self, I wasn’t shining with bright goodness, I was literally going step by step getting more and more frustrated.
Why can’t I be more focused at work?! I would ask myself.
Reading Danielle’s book shook me awake. Why was I trying to be focused. Clearly that was not helping. Forcing myself to supposedly focus was actually making me procrastinate and drag my feet even more.
The truth was, I didn’t want to be focused. I wanted to feel empowered … authentic … creative … nourished … inspiring … and dare I say courageous!
I wanted to feel NOT drag my way through the day. Just by re-framing my thoughts and honing in on making myself feel good I changed my daily tune. Rather than waking up mad at myself for not getting “enough” done, I woke up and would ask myself, how do I want to feel today? And my soul would say: Empowered! Or :: Creative! And by the time I got to work I would be more focused, more prepared to get shiznit done because I wasn’t grasping towards this ideal image of focused Erin. Rather I was trying to fulfill how I wanted to feel.
By focusing on how I wanted to FEEL rather than what I wanted to do I was more engaged, excited and inspired.
Suddenly tackling my to do list wasn’t something I dreaded; instead, I knew that by completing my projects and my work I would be making myself feel GOOD. I was done striving for focus, and instead I was striving for good feelings. Now I make a point of asking myself throughout the day :: is what I’m doing allowing me to feel the way I want to? If not, I do something about it. Because life is not meant to be lived by the tasks in your calendar, it’s meant to be lived fulfilling the needs of your soul.