A few months ago I remember taking a step back and looking at my “plate” and I realized it was over-flowing. It was like I had gone to a buffet, and even though I limited myself to those items which sounded really really good, I had piled on way too much. So much so that the edges were blurred, the plate was a messy disaster and I was feeling extremely overwhelmed. Worst of all, there wasn’t any space to organize, to assess, to breathe easier and adding anything else on would have been beyond crazy.
Picture all of your favorite food piled up – suddenly nothing would taste right, nothing would be as enjoyable, and you’d have a huge stomach ache at the end. Get the picture?
So, here I was staring down at my plate when I realized that it wasn’t worth “making it all work”. I wanted to enjoy every bit not feel like I was shoveling it down just to get through it…
But the only way to do that was to create space – lessen the load, liberate, fly free…
That was the day I realized I couldn’t do everything I had taken on, even though some of the things were very very important to me. Instead, I accepted that I am only ONE person and to be the creative, nourished, authentic and inspiring person I am I needed to let go of some responsibilities, some connections, some things.
Giving up started with Stuff
I wanted all the unnecessary, cluttering stuff out of my bedroom, office, home. I wanted and needed more physical space to dream, to let my thoughts wander ::: so all my extra stuff, the “what-ifs” I held onto, the “maybe someday” crap – all of it went into bags to be donated or sold.
Lessening the Actual Load
Next I knew that I needed less responsibilities, obligations. Unfortunately this meant I had to give up something I loved ::: being the Managing Editor for BodiMojo. This was a very hard decision and one that I still struggle with; but I know that for my BIG dreams to take root I needed space for them to grow.
Then I Gave Up Goals
This one is hard and it’s something I still struggle with but it has literally cleared the docket and given me so much space to run, play, imagine, go wild. The more I listen to my gut and not my to do list the more liberated, excited and engaged I feel.
Another hard one. Google Reader, email subscriptions, phone apps, documents, magazines… you get the picture. All of the wonderful resources that I lean on for inspiration, encouragement, knowledge was becoming far too much for me. My brain physically hurt when I opened Google Reader. I still feel anxiety over my inbox. So I began re-evaluating all of my connections and subscriptions. Began unsubscribing and hitting the “unfollow” button. It doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate them any longer, it just means I need to make room for new thoughts, new ideas and inspiration.
* * * * *
Finding more space, more freedom usually means letting go, moving on, going forward
Even though it’s a challenging transition what I’m finding with this extra space is release, options, openness, ease…
Running into this open space I feel free to twirl, soar, sit quietly, live more joyfully, love more fully, breathe more deeply.
With this space comes possibility.