Once upon a time, not too long ago, I was a control-freak, people-pleasing perfectionist constantly battling feelings of insecurity.
Let me tell ya, it wasn’t pretty. It’s hard to step back into that mindset now, to even remember what it felt like, but essentially it felt like I had 100 people in my head telling me I wasn’t good enough, that I would never be enough every minute of every day. It was exhausting and crushing. I don’t know where all of this came from… I’m sure some of it had to do with the fact that I wanted to be perfect for my parents – they already had enough on their plates that I didn’t want to add to it with my own issues, problems, failures and inabilities. I’ll also admit that I felt I needed to be perfect to fit in, to be liked, to be special, to shine.
I’m sure a lot of people have felt this way… there’s a very good chance that you have too.
I sincerely believe that our society is not conducive to a positive or healthy emotional state – we’re constantly told by the education system, media, advertising, and other people that we need to fit into a mold, we need to act a certain way, follow directions, look perfect, act perfect, be perfect. From a young age we’re given grades and told that to go to college and do well in life we need good grades, we need A’s all the time. The media shows men and women having it all, effortlessly while looking glamorous. Our parents want the best for us so they expect the best of us 24/7.
I see it everywhere ::: Constant pressure to be perfect.
Slowly over time I came to believe that I was enough. That I was amazing and incredible just the way I was – imperfections included.
Perfection is a fantasy that no one can live up to because we’re all human and we live in a world that is always changing. Maybe it’d be easier to be perfect if every single day was the same and nothing ever changed – but then we’d be robots. Instead, we’re people with souls, spirits, beliefs, dreams, feelings, histories, hopes, desires, fears. Instead, we are all on journeys that have unexpected challenges, crazy opportunities, scary situations, and life-changing events that shape and transform us every day.
In life we don’t get grades. There is no “A+” for being a good person. We are not flawless. We are not faultless. We are not picture-perfect. We are amazing in our unique ways.
Perfection is an illusion that ruins lives, stops possibilities before they can begin, makes life hard, clouds the path, and hurts the heart.
To be honest, perfection is boring, dull, uneventful and impossible.
Not that long ago I gave up the need to be perfect and now
I dance in the unknown
I rise to the challenge
I fall down and laugh
I get back up with a smile
I reach out a helping hand
I understand and sympathize
Giving up on being perfect has been one of the most life-altering choices I’ve ever made and it’s made my life SO MUCH BETTER.
This October I chose the word harmony to embody my letting go of control of perfectionism of struggling. I’m done struggling against life. I’m done trying to be someone I’m not. I’m done striving for something that is impossible.
I am letting my plan, my life, my journey unfold without fighting and struggling
I’m letting my heart, my spirit, my soul guide me
I’m learning to roll with the universe
I’m opening my heart to possibility
I’m sharing my true authentic self
I’m finding harmony.
What’s your word for October?